Metrics & budgets & accounts…oh my!

Accounts receivable, reconciling accounts, 1099, balance sheets, financial metrics, assets/liabilities, IRS, laws, budgets….lions & tigers & bears…oh my!!

Lions and tigers and bears is what the financial aspect of planting a church felt like! In every church, no matter how big or small, someone has to handle all the financial needs, and in the church plant, it was me. Not only did I have to learn it all, but it consumed a huge chunk of my time and energy…and I worried whether I was getting it all right!

I wanted to ‘do ministry’, not ‘do financial stuff’! Is this you? Are you the one? Or maybe it’s the pastor’s wife, or the guy who’s leading groups or volunteers? Stop! There’s a better way!!

The Change Group is an organization, founded by Casey Graham, that provides financial management and outsourced bookkeeping (aka…all the financial ’stuff’) for less time, energy…and money…than you can do on your own! Which means you can get back to reaching people and ‘doing ministry’ instead of getting lost in numbers!

For a monthly fee, less than what it costs to hire a part-time bookkeeper (!), you get

• Quarterly CFO Consulting
• Monthly Financial Dashboard
• Weekly Bookkeeping

and it’s all done by people who know what they’re doing and enjoy doing it!

If you’re in a church and you want to take the financial ’stuff’ off your plate and get back to doing what you love, or you’ve been ‘managing’ but you’re ready to take it to the next level, check out The Change Group. And…with the launch of their new website today, you can get a two hour consulting session FREE! So click on over there and check it out…and get started freeing up your time and energy to focus on what you were called to do!

It’s not just men

Few talk about it.

Even fewer admit it.

Porn addiction. It ruins lives. It tears apart families, friends, and people.

And it’s not just men who are addicted.

My friend, Crystal Renaud, knows all too well…and she wants to help other women too.

Crystal is launching a brand new ministry: Dirty Girls Ministries

What does Dirty Girls Ministries offer?

• Online Recovery Groups
• Coaching Networks
• Resources
• Prayer Support

If you struggle with a pornography addiction, this ministry can help! Crystal is a great friend who can relate because she’s been there. She understands because she once was where you may be now. Take the step today!

If you understand how porn ruins lives, please consider supporting Dirty Girls Ministries by donating financially and praying for Crystal and all those who Dirty Girls Ministries may reach. Dirty Girls Ministries is ready to make a difference in the lives of women all over the world. You can be a part of changed lives too.

Never gonna stop me!

I’ve had multiple surgeries on my knees, my shoulders and ankle. I’ve had hundreds of dislocated joints. I have arthritis already. I live with pain every day.

The pain is usually tolerable and I’m used to it. I don’t let it stop me, but it’s always there. Some days (like this week) it’s much worse. I can’t block it out. I think about it every time I move and it affects everything I do. I’ve learned what to do when the pain is bad, the swelling is great, and the movement is limited, but I continue to work, to do the things I need to do, and even exercise. It’s progressively gotten worse over the years, and will continue to do so. Doctors began telling me in high school that no matter what I did, I would face joint replacements, arthritis, etc…it would never go away.

I was told by the first orthopedic surgeon I went to that I should give up sports, only exercise in the water or on a bike, and plan on this limiting everything I do. I walked out of his office. Thirty years later I still have days that are ‘bad’, but I would never give up the memories of all the sports, all the adventures and all the things I’ve done with my kids (like white water rafting, rock climbing, hiking, playing basketball in the driveway and so much more). It doesn’t stop me. I accepted long ago that I can’t change it, but I can make a decision with what to do about it.

We all have situations, experiences and people in our lives that we can’t change. There may be a ‘constant pain’ that will never go away. We can do ‘all the right things’, yet the pain remains. We have a choice. We can let it limit everything we do, let it stop us from experiencing life, and let it kill the dreams that live inside. Or, we can ‘live with it’, make adjustments as needed, do what we can, but never let it stop us!

It’s not always easy to keep moving forward and sometimes it’s just hard. I’m going to do what I can, accept the rest, but it’s ‘NEVER GONNA STOP ME’! How about you? Are you in?

Surviving the batting cage

Do you ever have the feeling you’re being pulled in 100 different directions? Or the feeling that everyone wants a little bit more of you than you can give? How do you keep your sanity and still get it all done?

Andy Stanley (pastor of North Point Church in Georgia) said it best in his book Choosing to Cheat:

There is just not enough time in your day to be all things to all people.

That’s pretty straight-forward and sounds simple enough. Yet, how many of us run around trying to be all things to all people, afraid we will lose something if we aren’t? While we’re doing all that, we lose ourselves and those who we say mean the most to us. So what can we do?

For me it comes down to three principles:

Be intentional: Too often we field opportunities and responsibilities as they come at us like a batting cage machine out of control. We step into the cage, never look at the settings and end up simply trying to survive! Life will happen whether we’re ready or not. Knowing our priorities and having an intentional plan ahead of time (aka getting the settings right before we step into the cage) can help maintain focus when everyone comes at us wanting a little bit more of our time and us.

In the past week I’ve started essentially 3 new jobs and a class. Add that to the already busy job of being a single mom and the schedule could be overwhelming! Literally making a schedule for every hour of the week keeps things in check. It sounds crazy, but I actually write on paper a schedule that includes times (aka boundaries) for each job, time with my guys, studying, ‘me time’, time with God, cleaning/shopping/to-do list, etc. with the non-negotiables (God, my guys, me times) written in permanent, indelible ink! Be intentional with setting priorities and planning your time!

Make the decision: How many times do we say, “I know what I should do”, yet procrastinate and put off tomorrow what we know we should have done yesterday. Having a great plan means nothing if you don’t make the decision to follow it! It’s not easy to say ‘no’, to set up boundaries, to know your priorities and to take the chance ‘offending someone’! I will guarantee to you that not everyone will like what you’re doing. Changing yourself forces others to change and that may not be taken well. But, not losing yourself and those close to you is worth it!

Stay disciplined: Everyone makes New Years resolutions…and most break them within a month! You have an intentional plan and have made a decision to follow it, now it’s time to build the endurance and stay disciplined. Establish weekly ‘check up’ times, have someone who will keep you accountable (yes, that means actually sharing your plan and allowing someone to keep you on track!) and evaluate how you’re doing. Take inventory of where your time is spent (write down what you are doing every hour of the day!!) to have objective ‘data’. Write down your accomplishments (like saying ‘no’ when your boss asks you to stay a little later on your date night).  When you stick with the plan, reward yourself! Give yourself some slack when you ’screw up’ (you know you will), evaluate what happened and re-focus to get back in the game!

In 2 Timothy, Paul states, “I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.” Wouldn’t it be nice to have the endurance to ‘finish the race’ and have those that are important to us standing right there cheering us on? Wouldn’t it be great to step into the ‘batting cage’ and not only survive, but ‘hit it out of the park’? Be intentional, make the decision and stay disciplined and that might just happen!

And Spanish too??!!

How much can fit into 2 weeks? To say these days are a little crazy is an understatement! Here’s what’s happening:

• Boys started school–orientations, shopping for school supplies, college info nights & all the good stuff that happens for the start of a new school year
• Basement remodeling–we’re finishing our basement & the work has begun (yes, we’re doing it ourselves!)
• I started a one-day-a-week physical therapy job in a school district about 50 minutes from here–same organization I filled in for a maternity leave last school year. It’s the only opening they had in the county.
• I’m starting orientation tomorrow to pick up some visits for a part-time home health physical therapy position. I’ve never worked in home health, never worked with the elderly and have a lot to learn!
• I received my syllabus & ordered books for a Biblical studies class toward ordination. It’s going to be a lot of work!
• Family ministries–am jumping in to help lead a relaunch of family ministries at a nearby 1-year old church plant. I was introduced to the church today and led a volunteer meeting after church–new format, new curriculum, new procedures…it’s gonna rock!! We’ve got the month of September to pull it all together!
• Church plant systems–this week I meet again with a leader of another church plant to continue to help develop systems for all the great things they’re doing, starting with groups. It’s a 2-year old church plant that’s really impacting the community!
• And…just for fun I decided to start learning Spanish in my spare time. I took 3 years of French in high school and have wanted to learn Spanish for a couple of years. I just found out I can take it free online through a local library! Maybe next time when my guys try to talk in Spanish in front of me, I’ll understand what they’re saying. 

But, for right now, it’s time for some Mom and Dan time…I’m outta here…

Can you be authentic?

Authenticity is an important value when speaking of church leaders. We want leaders to be real, open, honest and genuine. We want leaders to share their questions, their struggles and their stories. We can relate to a leader who has ‘been where we’ve been’. Authenticity fuels connection and relevance. But is that what we really want? Are leaders really ‘allowed’ to be authentic and what happens when they’re not?

Take one person, three scenarios and see three different outcomes. For the sake of example, let’s make that one person a lead pastor and let’s say the struggle is with lust, which unfortunately is way too common a struggle.

1. The lead pastor is a church planter. He is rising up in leadership and influence within the ‘church planting realm’. He’s building his team and is beginning to reach people and have an impact. He has the ‘perfect’ family with the ‘perfect’ wife and the ‘perfect’ family. He has always struggled with lust, talks about his past obsessions with pornography and can teach about all the ways to prevent it from happening again. Yet what no one knows is that he’s really still struggling.
2. The lead pastor is the pastor of a growing church. Things are going well, the church is growing, lives are changing and by all outward signs, he is a ’successful pastor’. He also the ‘perfect family’ and struggles with lust. Momentum in his leadership is growing, but underneath the success, he struggles and is beginning to slip.
3. The lead pastor is a ’superpastor’. He leads a megachurch, has influence throughout the ‘church world’ and is the role model of many pastors. He talks about safeguards, he touts accountability and yet, he struggles.

Three pastors in 3 different positions. Can they be authentic?

1. ‘Superpastor’–He is able to not only talk about it openly, he blogs about it, tweets about it and writes a book about it. Fellow pastors gather around him, his accountability partners increase and people from all walks of life tell him they also struggle and his authenticity is refreshing. He’s able to deal with his struggle and keep it in check, all while reaching even more people.
2. ‘Rising pastor’–He’s not sure if he can share his issues. It might interrupt the momentum, people might leave his church and he may lose respect amongst his peers. He can talk in general terms, but to make it personal would be a huge risk. So he continues to hide it, while acting as if he had it all together. He slowly slips farther and farther until one day he steps down from leadership because he has crossed the line and had an affair. His life, his family and his church are shattered.
3. ‘Church planter’–He can’t risk telling anyone. He knows what will happen. Those that supported him will turn away. They’ll make comments like, “He’s not ready to lead yet” and he will jeapordize the momentum. He’s even afraid to tell his closest peers. He decides to keep it inside, thinks he can handle it and the downward cycle begins.

You can insert any issue into these scenarios: lust, anger, alcohol, depression and any other struggle. People want authenticity, but only within their boundaries. Can you truly be authentic in any situation or in any position? By revealing, you connect. By revealing, you risk. Should it be different for different situations? Are we fueling further stories of ‘moral failure’ and shattered lives by limiting who can truly be authentic? What do you think?