I was at a patient’s home today, in an area that was relatively low income homes. As I was leaving her house, her neighbor was at the door coming in. I said ‘hi’ and proceeded to my car to head to the next house. As I pulled out of the driveway, I saw the neighbor walking back to her house. I started driving past & she flagged me down.

“Can I ask you a favor?” was what she asked. I tentatively asked her what she needed, aware that I only had a few minutes to spare so I would not be late to my next patient. She proceeded to ask me if I could help her move a speaker from her house into her car. “I’m pregnant & shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy & don’t have anyone here to help me. I’ll be glad to give you $10.”

I answered with “sure, but you’re not paying me anything”, honestly hoping it wouldn’t be a huge task that would take too long. I entered her home & saw the living conditions which ‘weren’t the best’. I saw the speaker she needed moved & beside it was a 2 foot tall white wooden cross with writing ‘in memory of…’ on it. As I moved the cross gently she told me that the cross was for her baby who died.

We carried the speaker out & kept chatting. She asked if I was a nurse (I wear scrubs) & as I told her I was a physical therapist, she then told me she had a lot of PT after her car accident, when she was 9 months pregnant, which was how her baby died. She then told me she had some medical problems & has lost other babies during pregnancy, so she was very nervous about being pregnant again. We stood by my car & I felt a ‘nudge’ to ask her name, when her baby was due & if I could pray for her. I’m not usually one to say that to ‘strangers’ but knew it felt right. She said “yes, I would like that” and bowed her head.

OK, I didn’t really mean right there, right now…well, I sort of did but I didn’t think she would respond like that. So I prayed. When I finished, she said “Can I pray too?” and of course I said yes. That’s when she prayed this:

“God, I can’t believe how good you are. Thank you for this lady who helped me move the speaker. I can’t believe a complete stranger would help me like that. Thank you for this home so I’m not homeless anymore. Please help my homeless friends too & let them have hope. Thank you for the car that I now have. You’ve showed me that you really will take care of me….”

Through the hurt, there is hope…

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”-Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes life forces us to think about…life…and death…and how we’re living today.

Every day I work with people who have had some type of health crisis. I work with those who are healthy one day & in surgeries the next, those who are planning their retirement then fighting for their lives and those who are worried about what’s for dinner tonight then wondering how many dinners they’ll have left with their families.

It doesn’t even have to be a life or death situation. Friends move, marriages fall apart or kids go off to college. Sometimes life forces us to stop and ‘take inventory’.

I recently had another ‘cancer scare’. It was the second one in less than a year. Everything is fine and after a ‘major’ surgery & ‘minor’ procedures, I’ve received a clean bill of health. But, that’s no guarantee. Life can suddenly change for any of us. Accidents happen, diagnoses are heard and none of us know when it might happen today or tomorrow. It’s what we do with right now that counts.

I want to live today! I want to be the mom my kids are proud of & love to be around. I want to be the ‘friend a friend would like to have’. I want to risk trusting God’s plan for me. I want to climb mountains, enjoy sunsets and savor s’mores around a campfire. I want to be the one to make a difference in someone’s life, to encourage someone to do things they never thought possible, and to show people that they are worth it & there is hope!

Life is short. Make every moment count. Start today. All cliches we hear often, but do we take them seriously? How about you–are you ready to jump in and make it happen right now? Come on–are you in? I’m ready–let’s go!

Do you know any 9 year olds? Nine year olds are growing, yet still ‘little kids. They’re innocent, play with toys & are just beginning to step out…but not too far.

I was 9 years old when I first thought about killing myself.

I felt hated. I felt unwanted. I was told I was worthless & “would never amount to anything”. I had been sexually abused for years and emotionally & physically abused forever. It’s not that I wanted to die. I just wanted it all to stop.

It was ‘one of those days’, a day like so many. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had already been taking alcohol out of the kitchen cupboard & I had already learned that would numb everything. I knew where all the medicines were. That day I had been yelled at, hit multiple times & told ‘why can’t you be like…’ again. I opened the cupboard & took out a mini shot-sized bottle of whiskey then walked to the drawer that held the medicines. After grabbing a bottle of aspirin (I don’t know why I reached for that but I thought it would work), I swallowed a handful, drank the whiskey, locked myself in my bedroom…and waited to die. In my 9 year old head, that was going to happen.

Not much happened. I didn’t die. In fact, to this day, I’ve never told this story because no one ever found out. Instead of stopping it all, life went on. A little time passed, my mother called out for me to do something and when I didn’t respond, she came to my bedroom door. I knew it was too late to try any more then. I had failed. Finding the door locked, I was in trouble again, hit again, put down again…the cycle continued.

I remember thinking that I had screwed up one more time. I couldn’t even kill myself. My parents words echoed in my head, “such a loser”, “can’t do anything right”, “no one will ever love you”.

In my 9 year old brain, those words were true. Those words were all I knew.

How often do we do that in our lives? We have ‘junk’ that keeps piling on, we clean it off a bit, but we always stop when it’s ‘good enough’? Real change happens when we take an honest look at ourselves & ‘scrub off the junk’. Like cleaning that sink, real change is hard work. Even as we think we have it all cleaned out, we may see spots we’ve missed.

It doesn’t stop there. For that sink, and our lives, to ‘stay clean’, we can’t slip back into letting things go. Justifying that ‘it’s not that bad’ or ‘it’s good enough’ will slowly allow all the junk we’ve cleaned out to creep back in.

I use bleach & an SOS pad periodically to clean the sink. It really shines when I do. It’s harsh, it’s work & it’s not something everyone would do.

Neither is changing a life…

“It all sounds good about “helping” tornado victims but the people who help take action.”

It was time to take action. It was one week ago, on Saturday morning, when I heard about the goal Casey and another great guy, Pastor Dave Anderson of Crosspoint Community Church in Decatur Alabama, had set. They wanted to raise $10,000 in 24 hours for tornado relief. At that time, they had about $100.

Fast forward just over 24 hours later and well over $100,000 had been raised!! Yes, you read that right—10 times more than what the goal had been. More importantly, this money wasn’t just sitting somewhere. It was going to people on the ground in the form of gift cards for basic necessities, such as diapers, toothbrushes, food and all the things that we take for granted every day. Here’s what has happened in one week:

• The team on the ground have been working with multiple churches, both in the area and ones who have sent teams in to help
• Churches from all over the country, including Georgia, Kentucky, Utah, Texas, Missouri & Ohio (and more!) have sent money or have jumped in on the ‘Tornado Tithe Challenge’
• We’ve distributed $1000′s of gift cards for immediate assistance
• We’ve contacted mobile home dealers to negotiate discounts for purchasing new mobile homes for families with total losses 
• We’re partnering with Diversified Services, a utility company that replaces utility lines for Alabama power, Georgia power & local utilities
• We have forged a significant relationship with Epic Church in Decatur and they have provided refurbished FEMA trailers for approximately 20 people through their team and fund raising efforts.  We contributed to this fund.
• We are sending churches, supplies, and now working to send teams to help them as they have secured funding for 20 more trailers
• Every day we are partnering with more churches & organizations and reaching more people who have suffered & lost so much

What am I doing? Even though I’m 6+ hours from the destruction, I’m helping serve on the tornado relief team and my major role is communications with all donors, including updates from those on the ground. I’m also hoping to get a team together from Cincinnati to go and help. I’ve met so many awesome people and am overwhelmed at how people have come together to help so many. This is how the church is supposed to be!

What can you do? Please help. Please take action.

• Donate!! It’s easy (and tax deductible) Just go here: Immediate Relief Fund
• Talk to your pastors & join the Tornado Tithe Challenge
• Follow some of the updates here: Tornado Relief updates
• Watch these videos from the teams on the ground of real people, like you & me, with their lives torn apart in one day:

I continued to work with him and always spoke directly to him. It didn’t take long to realize he really did understand what was being said, he simply couldn’t express that he could. One day I looked right at him and said, “I know you can understand. I know you’re just having trouble saying what you want.” With that, he smiled his huge smile and nodded his head enthusiastically while muttering, “Yes”, as a tear fell from his eye.

We’ve continued to work together and share his progress. Last week I began asking him more about his time spent in World War II and though I couldn’t understand all he was saying, I was able to decipher and thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. A few times he teared up as he told me about D-Day, the Battle of the Bulge and more. I asked him if he considered himself a hero and I told him I did. Again, a few tears and a big smile when I acknowledged and recognized all he had done.

Here was a man who had once been a strong warrior who fought in multiple battles. Here was a man who was now trapped inside a body that wouldn’t cooperate. I didn’t treat him any differently than I treat anyone else. He deserved respect for who he was and who is still is today. Unfortunately, what I’ve learned is he didn’t always get it and too often neither do many others.

As I was getting ready to leave at the end of the session, he said something that I didn’t quite understand. I looked at him with a puzzled look and he repeated it again. Still unable to understand what he was insistent on saying, I told him, “I’m not quite understanding.” His reply, with every ounce of energy he had to say it just right was, “You’re special.”

With that, my own eyes began to tear and with my smile, he knew this time I understood. One little phrase that I wasn’t looking for and definitely wasn’t expecting, had absolutely made my day. At that moment diverse emotions hit me, sadness that something as simple as respect was considered ‘special’ and joy that I was able to gvve him a little bit of it.

There are some moments that will always stick with you and continue to influence you, long after they’ve occurred. I know this was one of those moments.

As I walked into his home, it was hard to miss the 100′s of family pictures that lined his walls and shelves. He told me about his siblings, his kids and his grandkids and you could just see the love in his eyes. He told me he was a ‘preacher’ and how although he had never been able to read a Bible, could recite verses and explain exactly what they meant. Spiritual gifts galore became glaringly evident as he told stories of hearing God’s call and his words, speaking into other people’s lives and stories of praying & healing. Even though I had only just met him, his kind heart shone through.

Would anyone speak to this man if they didn’t know him? Most drive past his trailer and don’t think twice about it. How many people like him do we pass by every day? Matthew 25:35-40 says this:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

I was blessed this week by a man who has often been shunned and ‘written off’ because of his lack of formal education, his poverty level, his appearance and his Appalachian roots. As I stood with him talking, I felt the presence of God right there with us. As I drove away I knew that this man was truly special and I can’t wait to chat with him again. Today I challenge you that the next time you see ‘someone like him’, look beyond the surface and don’t ever doubt that God can and will use anyone who is willing.

The gay couple adopting children…

The young girl too stoned to carry on a conversation…

The 40 something who questions the existence of a God who allows suffering…

The 70+ year old couple who think ‘all blacks are trouble”…

The young unwed pregnant girl who doesn’t know who her baby’s father is…

The young guys who talk about how drunk they were last night…

The wealthy couple living in an expensive house & the one in poverty living in a broken trailer…

The atheist, the New Ager, the Muslim, the Christian…

Who are these people? These are my friends, co-workers & neighbors. These are not people who exist ‘somewhere’. These are people I interact with every day and they have names, families & lives that I know. These people are not ‘projects’, nor are they people I avoid. These people are loved by a God that they may or may not know about. These people are like me…they hurt, they rejoice, they want hope, and they want to be loved & accepted. They are not the labels that we put on them.

If you consider yourself a Christian, who’s on your list? If you have only Christian friends, go only to Christian conferences, have all Christian twitter & facebook followers and are afraid to tell your friends you listen to something other than Christian music, it’s time to get out of the bubble!!

I realized a short time ago that the more I was getting involved with ‘ministry’, the less I was living like Jesus. The more I learned ‘how’ to do ministry, the less I actually did! I felt the walls closing in and I wanted out. God had changed my life, He had saved me & I knew He was calling me to reach people who are where I once was. Yet, I felt like I was being sucked down into a Christian void.

Thankfully, the bubble that I started into was like one created on a very windy day…it didn’t go far & it burst quickly. What about you? Like the soap that comes from popping a bubble, stepping out of the bubble is messy. It’s challenging and it will definitely take you out of your comfort zone (and if you don’t believe that, I definitely have a few stories I could tell you!). But it will also be the most rewarding, most satisfying and most fulfilling adventure that you will ever experience!

Let’s stop spending all our time ‘doing church’ and actually ‘be the church’! Instead of only learning more, let’s start loving more. ‘Pop the bubble’ and let’s get in and get our ‘hands dirty’! I’m ready…are you?!

Wrong!

Every day I enter homes with multiple generations, extended families & friends living together. A cousin sleeps on the couch, children on mattresses on the floor or a friend in a recliner in the living room. Some are in apartments, some in trailers & some in small homes, often homes that have been ‘in the family’ for decades.

Poverty & homelessness in rural areas is different than in big cities, and although it’s often not seen, it definitely exists! In rural areas, people know and look out for each other. “He can’t live on the street” becomes “he can stay with me”. Overcrowding, substandard housing and other socio-economic factors begin to add up. Education levels are down, which leads to decreased income. Opportunities are lacking & a sense of ‘being stuck’ sets in which often leads to decreased mobility and increased health problems. Obesity increases, along with associated diabetes & other medical conditions. The cycle of poverty runs deep through generations.

For example, according to the US Census, the percentage of Americans graduated from high school is 85% and those with a BS or higher is nearly 28%. The median household income is $50,000 & per capita income median is $27,000, with 9% of families in poverty and 12% of individuals. Here are the stats of 2 nearby towns that I’m often in:

Town #1–59% high school diplomas, 6% BS degrees, median household income is $20,000 & per capita income $10,400, with nearly 30% of families & 35% of individuals in poverty.

Town #2–51% high school diplomas, 2% BS degrees, median household income is $35,000 & per capita income $16,700, with 21% of families & 13% of individuals in poverty.

Yet, walk down the street and you’ll never know that ‘homelessness’ exists. Lack of resources & limited transportation, along with organizations focusing primarily on more populated areas leave these families to  look out for each other. Imagine what might happen if we adopted the ‘look out for each other’ attitude combined with the resources that most of us have. Imagine if we actually ‘saw’ our neighbors and reached out to them.

Maybe it shouldn’t be just about imagining…

And so, ‘my story’ begins…

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of writing. Some things I’ve already shared and some have remain buried, too painful to even write down in words. All that has changed. I have always heard a ‘voice’ promising that ‘Someday’ all this would be used for good. That ‘Someday’ started a few years ago and that ‘Someday’ continues now. There are too many people, women and men, suffering silently believing they don’t matter, that they can never heal or that they have no reason to live. They make it through every day hiding behind a mask of numbing themselves, overachieving or simply hiding away. There can be so much more!

I don’t know how God is going to use all of this, but for now I’m preparing. For now, I’m getting it all written and organized. It’s raw and it’s messy, but that’s what life and ministry is all about…