Will you ever know how much I love you? Can you ever really know? From the beginning, you were a part of me. I longed to hold you in my arms. The days of labor, the surgery, the tubes and machines were all worth the minute I first saw your precious face. I held you and rocked you, and watched you breathe. When you screamed every night for hours at a time, I never gave up trying everything to comfort you. You smiled at me and my heart melted. So smart, so creative, and so cute. You have always been special, my first little boy.
Will you ever know my tears of pride when you sang solos as a 4-year old for your Christmas play or when you wanted to help your friend in his wheelchair? Will you ever understand the frustration of being helpless as the one you would do anything for suffered? I’ve watched you score goals and fall flat on your face. I’ve felt the sting of your words and savored your hugs. I’ve coached you and cheered from the stands. I’ve made difficult decisions and I’ve messed up. I celebrate your new business and rejoice in your choice of girlfriend. Each day my love for you grows.
Every day you move farther away. I love to watch you becoming a man, and I worry what type of man you will become. Will you ever comprehend that tough love is actually tougher on me and it really is love? When you struggle, I am here. When you fall apart, I pick up the pieces. You’ve made me laugh, and you’ve made me cry. Sleepless nights of a baby, endless nights as a teenager. Will you ever feel you have nothing left to give, yet somehow you find more? It never ends, it never stops. Will you ever feel the pain of rejection, yet be willing to get back in and try again, because you love that much?
Will you ever know how much I love you? ‘They’ say someday you will. For now I continue to pray every day and hold your love in my heart. I love you forever and I will never turn away, no matter how hard you push. I love you that much…and maybe one day you’ll know…
Filed under: Family, Love, Parenting, Single Parent
Rindy…I am in tears. I can not stop.
I don’t know what to say…
Oh my gosh…I am in tear too…I ask myself that everyday…Will they EEVER know just how much we have ALWAYS loved them…and oh it is soooo hard to let go!! love you rindy…you are such a GREAT MOM
That is the most touching post I’ve read in a long time. I am sure he’ll know how much he loves you, when he holds his own little baby in his arms and sees in it what you see in him. Thank you for posting this today.
We can only hope that during those difficult teenage years they do remember that we truly do love them forever. What a beautiful post.
What everyone else said.
What an awesome post Rindy. I feel the same way about my son who turned 18 last week. So many hopes, so many fears, so much hope, and faith, and uncertainty, all mixed up on one.
Thanks.
Well said. I know feel what you are saying. Love it.
My relationship with my parents is far from being the healthiest, and kids are the last thing I want right now because I’m afraid I’ll know exactly how my parents feel because of that…even if I do feel they are to blame for a lot of it.
It’s sad but I think it’s pretty much impossible for most parents to live without being involved in some way in their kids’ lives, but kids can live without their parents (after they’re “grown up”)…until they have kids of their own, that is.
WOW!! Every mothers thought. I too hope that my children will grow up to know how much I love them and sacrifice for them. This blog makes me want to “dig” out one of my favorite books, Love You Forever.
Rilndy, Do you know just how very eloquent you are? You so know you are heading in the right direction.
i was so teary.
im only 18 and i know that they do truely know how much you love them.
we kids know that when we fall apart our parents are they only ones that can help and for that we are forever greatful and we always know how much our parents love us.