A little more about Tourette Syndrome

When I look at the search topics that lead many people to this blog, the topic of Tourette Syndrome shows up frequently. I’ve written about it a couple of times in Tic, Tic, Tic and in Tourette Syndrome–a personal look, but since the topic seems to be a popular search, I thought I would share a little more. I’ve not shared how all of this affects me specifically so please bear with me (this is one of those times where writing about it is a lot easier than face to face talking!!).

So a little insight into today…I’m pretty good at hiding or suppressing most of the tics that I experience (I learned to do that long ago as a little child who would literally get hit and punished for tics such as throat clearing or eye blinking). Sometimes though it’s really hard. There are times when the tics are constant and the anxiety and effort to keep from letting others see is overwhelming. Other times the tics are ones that can’t be controlled or hidden as easily. Combine this with times when the ADHD (which often accompanies Tourette Syndrome) is increased and it gets a little tough. One thing that happens with me is that it’s difficult to keep focused on one train of thought and often my mind jumps from one thing to another. When you pair that with a tic that results in stuttering on words, carrying on a coherent conversation becomes quite interesting! Honestly, it probably feels a lot worse to me than it sounds to someone I’m talking to, and most people listening wouldn’t think twice about it, but that doesn’t decrease the feeling. Of course, as that happens, the anxiety increases, which in turn increases all of this even more!

Want to know what it’s like? Try reading this really fast…It’s like when you get really excited about something that just happened, and you try to tell your friends, but you jump from one thing to another and just can’t spit it all out because there’s so much to tell, and you don’t want to leave anything out, but you just can’t stay focused ’cause you’re just so excited, and you then you can’t even remember the names of the people involved, well you can remember, but you just can’t say the right names at the right times, sort of like as a parent you call your kids by the wrong names, and by the time you say them you already know you’ve said the wrong name, so you just get your point across in however it comes out, and you stumble on words, even though you know what you want to say in your head, but it’s just that your mouth doesn’t seem to want to cooperate!

Did you catch that? Well, that’s how I feel this week. Normally, not a big deal. It’s just how it is. However, tonight I’m teaching at Thursdays, our worship service for 20-somethings, and I’m in a skit (there’s only two of us in the skit, so I talk a lot!) at a women’s conference on Saturday at church.

Anxiety? Not really. OK, maybe a little…